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  LOTTERY

  A Silo Saga

  Darren Cole

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Text copyright © 2019 Darren Cole

  All rights reserved.

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

  ONE

  TABITHA SHEELS STOOD NEAR the top of the silo’s spiral staircase, her toes perched over the cold metal, as she contemplated her decision. A tear needled the corner of her eye and she quickly swiped at it, cursing it under her breath. Now wasn’t the time to be weak. It wasn’t the time to have second thoughts. Images of her husband came into her mind. Images of him being forced to leave the silo, forced to clean—forced to die. There was only one way to save her husband’s life, but to do that, she’d have to do the unspeakable: she’d have to lose their baby.

  Looking down at the perilous fall that awaited her, she inched her toes forward, hanging them further over the edge of the stairs. The cold metal beneath her feet had warmed from her touch, chasing away the chill that shook her when she’d first left the cafeteria. The landing was full of sounds falling around her: rowdy children, people talking, plates and dinnerware clanking, and the barely distinguishable tone of her husband’s voice, directing the staff working for him.

  Tonight’s dinner service had been a particularly busy one with Justin preparing one of the silo’s favorites: a baked noodle dish with sauce and cheese. At some point the favored meal had turned into a kind of Silo Family Night. Mothers and fathers had brought their children from as far away as an hour’s climb. Tabitha thought of the dinner and how the cafeteria had bustled with frantic parents and eager children, all waiting to get seated and to begin eating. She thought of how proud Justin had been to have so many come from up below the Mids, and a few from even lower.

  Justin had held a special plate for her; he always held a special something for her when she visited him in the cafeteria. She loved that he did that. But tonight she’d only picked at her meal, turning the noodles over with her fork, pushing them from one side of her plate to the other. Her body told her to eat; it screamed at her to eat. After all, she was eating for two. Instead, she’d found herself glancing around and watching the silo’s moms and dads feed on child-rearing stories as children wet their faces with handfuls of sauce and noodles. While the irony of her predicament played out in front of her, she saw none of it.

  “Tabbs… you’re not eating,” Justin said to her, stopping at her table as he passed by. “It’s your favorite.” She sat alone, her eyes often wandering to the outside view projected high on the wall. The outside world hadn’t changed, save for the blur of dirt and grime that had collected on the camera lenses since the last cleaning. The rolling hills stayed barren, and the distant city skyline remained a desolate skeleton, a grim reminder of the death that awaited the next doomed person sent outside to clean. Tabitha looked hard at the ancient structures, thinking it, too, kept a watchful eye on them: a lifeless eye. She moved her hand to her belly where there was life, a life she and Justin had created, and immediately she wanted to cry.

  “Tabbs!” Justin blurted, grabbing her attention. His voice startled her, breaking her stare. He chuckled at seeing her jump, but his smile quickly turned into a concerned frown. Tabitha turned her face away from him, hiding the lie that was in her eyes. But she could feel that he knew something was wrong. She’d been able to sense his emotions since she’d fallen in love with him. She used to think it was magic the way married couples spoke without words, and sometimes she still thought that love really was magic.

  When she felt the warm touch of his hand on her shoulder, she wanted to fall into his arms. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and whisper in her ear that everything would work out. Tabitha wanted to tell him everything—but how do you tell your husband that you’re pregnant and that you have no lottery ticket? How do you tell your husband that because of the life he’d started inside of you, he might be the next one to go outside and clean? With this last thought, Tabitha gulped at the air and turned her head the way she sometimes did, masking the truth of her feelings.

  “Tired is all,” she’d said, trying to address his concern, but then she’d said nothing more. Justin kissed her, gently, above her eyes, and turned to go back to work, but then he spun around, pressing his lips to hers, long and hard, breathing his daily proclamation of love for her. Every day since their fifth time together, he’d kissed her like that, telling her that he loved her. In three years, he’d never once missed a single day. She had smiled up at him before he went back to the kitchen, wondering if he would continue his daily proclamation, once he knew what she was planning to do.

  Now, as she looked down upon the tiny metal diamonds, faint and smoothed by thousands of shoes that had come before, she felt them press softly into the bottom of her feet. Where are my shoes? Tabitha lifted one foot and then the other, realizing she’d been without her shoes the entire afternoon. Had she been so preoccupied that she’d forgotten her shoes? What else had she forgotten?

  Her naked feet looked bright against the bowed metal of the step. They looked even brighter against the dozens of steps waiting below her. Maybe I’ll die too, she thought, and wondered if that wouldn’t be so bad. A flutter from her belly answered her last thought, and at once Tabitha thought that she might fall over. She thought she’d crumble to her knees right there and wrap herself around her unborn child.

  “How can I do this?” she whispered, while the tears began to tease again, taunting her, threatening her with mournful days that lay ahead.

  TWO

  TWO YEARS EARLIER

  “You look fine. Great, in fact,” Tabitha insisted. She thought her voice sounded terse, almost annoyed. Biting her lip, she worked on Susan’s hair, braiding a weave of three strands together into one. “Listen to your best friend: wearing your hair on the side brings out your face. You look beautiful!”

  “Thanks, Tabbs,” Susan answered. Her friend’s eyes were big and pouty, a wanting expression fixed in them. Tabitha sighed, but listened as Susan went on about finding a date for the up-top dance. “Who would have thought that meeting someone would be so difficult?” Susan complained. “It’s not like when we were in school… back then it was easier.” Tabitha nodded, trying to be polite, agreeing with the sentiment while she pushed an errant lock of golden hair behind Susan’s ear.

  When Tabitha finished, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, studying her work. Susan’s hair was perfect. But, of course, so was the rest of her. After a moment, she pulled a few strands back, leaving them to hang loose over Susan’s ear. She wasn’t sure why she did that, and even felt a twinge of guilt. Maybe it was because Susan really didn’t need the help. Who’s she kidding, anyway? She was beautiful. Tabitha tried pushing down the jealousy, but it wasn’t always a good thing to have a best friend who happened to be one of the prettiest girls in the silo.

  Delicious smells hung in the air and carried with them warm reminders of fresh morning bread and breakfast foods. Tabitha’s stomach grumbled a hungry agreement. She’d get something from the cafeteria before winding back down a dozen levels to the chemical smells of the garment district where she worked. Sitting just outside of the cafeteria was a favorite of hers and Susan’s; it had been since they’d first learned to drink coffee mash with a splash of pig’s milk. After a few years, Susan told Tabitha that she actually liked the taste
. But more than once Tabitha had to laugh, teasing when her friend’s mouth puckered against the bitterness. Tabitha would drink the coffee mash—sometimes forcing it down—only to help herself wake up: it was medicinal, and chatting with her friend was what she liked.

  The ringing sound of shuffling footsteps pulled her eyes away. She peered into the dimming light, finding the bouncing head of a porter or runner working their way up to the landing. Her quick glance found a younger man, a somewhat attractive man, but someone Tabitha thought Susan might be interested in.

  “Look, here’s one now,” Tabitha offered, nudging her chin towards the porter. He glanced in their direction, but his face wore a single purpose—delivering a message or a parcel.

  “Isn’t that Tommy Folcome?” Susan asked. Her voice pitched higher, tempering some hope in her tone. The porter leapt a few more steps, and paused to catch his breath. “That is! That is Tommy Folcome.” Tabitha looked at the man before them, and tried to find the young boy they’d gone to school with. While his face held a familiar smile, Tommy had grown. He was tall and lean, filling out his coveralls. She could see the outlines of muscles in his legs, the effects of a porter’s regimen showing since they’d last seen one another. The silo staircase will do that to a person; especially a porter, spending every day, all day, running up and down the stairs.

  “Tommy!” Tabitha called out, only to be met with a nudge of a pointy elbow to her middle. She waved off Susan’s shyness, which only encouraged her to call out even louder. “Tommy Folcome!” The young porter turned back to them, narrowing his eyes, and then widened his smile until dimples pierced his cheeks.

  “Oh, I remember those,” Susan mumbled. Her words were soft, trailing into a sultry groan. “Mmm-mmm. Dimples.” It was Tabitha’s turn to nudge her friend, laughing along with her, and following Tommy with her eyes.

  As he approached, Tabitha took another breath, impressed by what running the stairs had done for their classmate. She could hear Susan say a few more things too, her words staying hushed. When Susan let out a disappointed sigh, Tabitha searched for the reason. She saw the copper band wrapped around Tommy’s ring finger, and shared in Susan’s disappointment.

  “Hi, girls! It’s been a while. What are you doing up top?”

  “Grabbing lunch… the service will be starting soon,” Susan answered. “You look good. Fit. Have you been working the stairs a while?”

  “Started when we finished school,” he answered, and then darted his eyes in the direction of a plate crashing. He motioned to the cafeteria, lifting a small package up before placing it under his arm. “I’d like to talk some more, but I need to get this to the sheriff’s office.” And with that, their old classmate was gone, pushing past them and rushing into the cafeteria.

  Susan was the first to begin laughing. The awkwardness and clunky conversation proved too much. Tabitha shook her head, laughing along, but her mind went to the copper ring on Tommy’s finger. She’d never thought of being with someone, let alone marriage. But when the light glanced off the copper, catching her eyes, it stirred something. She didn’t know what it was, or what to call it, she just knew there had to be more to life in the silo than just working in the garment district.

  “Well, that wasn’t too awkward… was it?”

  Both girls flinched, turning at the sound of a deep gravelly voice behind them. They found a tall man standing in the shadows at the back of the landing, the hint of a grin on his face. He was standing just beyond the light from the doors of the cafeteria, listening to them. Tabitha swiped at some loose hair in front of her eyes, annoyed, tucking the errant strands behind her ear. She crossed her arms, attacking her coveralls with the pinch of her fingers. Heat climbed up her neck, warming her cheeks, as she considered how long he might have been standing there. How much of their conversation had he listened to?

  Tabitha didn’t like being startled like that. She didn’t think anyone did, and her expression must have shown it. The mystery man stepped into the light, his hands in front of him, offering a gentle wave, as if trying to shoo away his offense.

  “I’m sorry if I startled you,” he said. His voice was soft and sincere, with humor in his tone. “I thought you knew I was back there… I truly did.”

  “You shouldn’t go around sneaking up on people like that!” Tabitha scolded, and then readied herself to leave. “Oh! And listening to other people’s conversations is rude!” Tabitha stood up, pulling on Susan’s arm, but her friend kept to her seat on the top step, leaning in the direction of the mystery man. He moved closer to them, letting more of the cafeteria light paint his frame. Tabitha saw what Susan was staring at: their mystery man was a looker, carrying broad shoulders and a handsome face and long brown hair, which had been pinned back by a thin piece of leather. It was his blue eyes that stopped Tabitha, encouraging her to sit back down; they were brighter than anything she’d ever seen. She turned away briefly to find her seat and then looked back up, finding his eyes with ease. Nervousness fluttered inside her when she saw that his eyes were on hers. As he approached, she could tell that he was a few years older than her, and she could also see that his ring finger was absent of any copper. Tabitha glanced over in time to see Susan’s expression, a grin turning upward, teasing the corners of her friend’s mouth.

  “Tell you what,” the mystery man offered, raising his brow and putting on a smile. “Let me make it up to you by bringing you a new dessert I’ve been working on. I promise it’ll be good.”

  “I’m sorry,” Tabitha started to answer, turning to face the mystery man. “But, I don’t talk to strangers… let alone accept offers of sweets.” Tabitha’s words gave the man reason to pause. She realized that she’d been smiling while she spoke, inviting him. He waited a moment, and then knelt down next to them. Was that her intention? Was she flirting? She glanced at Susan, whose eyes had narrowed with stern disapproval. A flicker of excitement sparked inside her. She was flirting. She hadn’t even realized it. For a moment, she let the shame of encouraging this conversation douse her ambitions, but then a twinge of envy stoked something inside. Susan had always been prettier, and most times, she was the center of attention. Regardless of what Tabitha saw in Susan’s eyes, she muffled her own reservations and decided not to care what her friend thought either.

  “I’m not a stranger if I tell you my name. Am I?” he asked. His eyes stayed with hers, and his voice remained warm.

  “I think you’d have to know my name, too,” she answered quickly, and before Susan could jump in. “I mean, that seems the proper thing. Right?”

  “I’m Justin,” he answered, agreeing, and then extended his hand. Tabitha reached for his hand, and something happened when she touched the mystery man. There was a moment. The kind of moment you only hear about in stories. Justin paused, holding her hand in his, and for that moment neither of them said a word.

  “And I’m… I mean, my name is Tabitha,” she finally answered. Her voice sounded shaky. She smiled at him; a quick, shy smile that warmed her cheeks. She kept her hand in his a moment longer, holding onto whatever it was that felt different about him.

  Susan cleared her throat and then stabbed the air with her hand.

  “My name is Susan,” she interrupted. Her voice sounded forced, but carried the sweet sounds Tabitha had often heard when Susan sang a flirty tune. Tabitha quickly realized the interest growing in her friend. Justin’s hand drifted away from Tabitha’s, finding Susan’s, but staying there just long enough to be polite.

  Tabitha felt a pinch in her heart, a pull, when Justin turned back towards her, moving to get closer. She tried to dismiss the sudden emotion as nothing more than the feeling of getting caught up with someone new, but then realized she was carrying a smile that she couldn’t seem to shake.

  “So, you work in there?” she asked, pointing up towards the opening to the cafeteria. “Are you a cook?”

  “Well… I wouldn’t say I’m a cook… not just yet—” he started to answer. His voice wavered a
s he spoke. “But I will be the main cook. One day, anyway.”

  “If you’re not a cook, then what do you do in there?” Susan asked. Her voice was sharp and purposeful, cutting him down. Tabitha raised her eyes, shifting where she sat, annoyed by her friend’s question.

  “They do let me prepare the desserts, but mostly I count. I count everything,” he answered, unfazed by Susan’s crassness. “I’m not a full-time cook yet, but I will be. I have to learn everything else though, like a shadow. And it isn’t just this cafeteria. It’s all the mouths to feed in the silo. Everything comes down to counting.” Tabitha listened, but shamefully heard little as her eyes stayed on his lips for a long time. She wasn’t sure why. She just knew she liked them.

  “Tabbs, we have to get going. It’s getting late and I’m hungry,” Susan interrupted.

  “Tabbs. I like that.” Justin said, smiling.

  “Only my friends call me Tabbs,” she answered, and couldn’t help but return the same smile.

  “Come back later for the dessert I promised,” he invited. “Bring your friend, we’ll talk some more, and then maybe you can call me your friend.”

  Tabitha blushed when he took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. She squeezed his hand back, telling him she’d stop by later. Susan was already to the cafeteria door, opening it and calling back over her shoulder before Tabitha finally let go of Justin’s hand.

  Later that night, while meeting for dessert, Tabitha made a decision—but it was a decision to do something more than just call Justin her friend. She boldly decided she’d marry him one day. And late that night, as Tabitha’s eyes wandered in the midst of a deep, restful sleep, she dreamed of a man. A beautiful man. She dreamed of having a family with that man and a life by his side, of loving one another. She just never dreamed how short their life together would be.